Dear mom that has her shit together,
I salute you. I congratulate you. I high five, fist bump, chest bump whatever you want to congratulate you on figuring out this parenting thing.
How you have your children’s breakfast ready in the morning, waiting for your blessings to awaken for the day. You pack their lunches with their sandwiches cut into heart shapes ensuring to remove the crusts, bake cookies for them to enjoy and EVERY single night you have that amazing dinner sitting waiting for your darlings to get home.
Your house is immaculate, you never yell or swear and you skip through the day with the most perfect children in the world.
You have your children’s extra-curricular activities all scheduled and in your phone, you’re always on time and you volunteer for the craft show fundraiser at your child’s school and actually show up.
I salute you one!
This mom? Me? Well I have birthed four babies. Every day is damn gong show and we clearly do not have our shit together. I am winging it on a daily basis.
I read all the books when I was pregnant with my first child. Prepared myself for motherhood like no ones business. I listened to all the mothers out there that had it together on how life with children should be. How being a parent is wonderful and the most amazing thing you can do. How breastfeeding is best, three square wholesome meals a day, your house will be tidied and everything will be wonderful.
What the actual F?
Honestly?? The day I decided that I give up on parenting and that “picture perfect” life you mother’s, I’m convinced you lied about, was the best damn day of my life. As well as for my kids.
You see, I tried. Honestly I did. I tried so damn hard.
Bake sales, Class trips, being on time for extra-circulars, baking stuff, keeping my house perfect in case someone unexpectedly showed up, laundry done, dishes, supper, and parenting my children with love and kindness.
No yelling or swearing as you parent with “talking”.
I tried. I promise.
You know what this did? This created a Monster Mom. A mom that was on a “schedule”, stressed because dishes needed to be done before bed, laundry needs done because my child didn’t have matching socks, a mom that was so stressed and on the go all the time that I missed a whole bunch of my kids childhood because I was TO busy being a “mom” and doing the things “moms do”.
So I gave it up. I threw in the towel. Parenting is just to damn hard. Period.
Well now we wing it. We embrace the utter chaos and gong show of our life and we do it with sarcasm and humor. We yell when we are angry, we swear if we need to (The F word is off limits unless you are a mom or dad. Period.). We leave the house with mismatched socks, and we are usually late because someone lost their shit getting their coat on.
Sometimes we have boxed cereal for dinner. Not because we don’t have time but because I just don’t feel like cooking. Guess what? They love it, they ate food and they didn’t die.
This house is EXTREMELY inappropriate most of the time and it is bursting with sarcasm ALL THE TIME.
Other mothers will gasp when they hear the way I talk to my children. People stare in horror when I tell my child I will cut off his hand if he touches one more thing in the store. Because Ya, I am FOR REAL going to cut his hand off. C’mon people.
The house is NEVER immaculate and laundry piles up on a regular basis.
You know what else we do though? We LOVE each other. We cry together, laugh together, say good-night and I love you EVERY single night. I will not let my child leave or hang up without saying I love you. Non-negotiable.
My children are on the honor roll in school, sports teams, and would NEVER disrespect any person regardless of age, or use inappropriate language in public. They will hold the door for you, smile at you and use their manners. If you do not say you’re welcome, they will still ensure they say thank-you and sometimes it’s loudly just to make sure you hear them 🙂
So, mother with your shit together, I applaud you. You are doing it “right” by all the text books out there. I salute you for not completely losing your shit.
However I plead with you, if you are “faking” it, if you are silently losing your mind trying to live up to some silly expectation, if you are crying in the bathroom because life is to much to handle and you have an “image” to withhold, LET IT GO! Live YOUR life with your children the way YOU want to, what works for you. Accept that you are not super human and that if you do not get to laundry today, it will be there tomorrow. If you did not get to dishes, it is ok. Let them eat cereal from a pot if you have to, Does it REALLY matter?
I truly wish for you to live your authentic self and raise your babies the best YOU can and how you WANT to and disregard anyone who tells you otherwise. You birthed them, it is your RIGHT.
To all the other mom’s who are just like me and are winging this parenting thing, I raise my measuring cup of wine to you (Haven’t done dishes and this works just fine), air high five you as I have finally sat down and I do not want to get back up and finally, send you the strength to get through tomorrow.
A mom who will NEVER have her shit together.